My First Pipe

I did some research on pipes and found that they aren't cheap. Well, not generally speaking, anyway. "Cheap" in relation to pipes is pretty subjective. The thing was, I didn't want to blow a wad on a pipe when I wasn't sure A) which pipe brands were any good and B) if I would even enjoy smoking a pipe. After reading articles online, I decided that the best course of action was to pick up a corn cob pipe. They require no "break-in" period, and they're inexpensive. Like "$5" inexpensive. Sold.

I'd also wanted to pick up a pipe lighter -- a Zippo, to be exact -- and some good, mild tobacco to go along with it. Not to mention cleaning supplies: pipe cleaners and a pipe tool.

There's a tobacconist in the local mall, John B. Hayes Tobacconist by name. On my lunch break, I went to the shop with my friend Leonor (my enabler) and picked out the supplies I'd need. Add to the list of needed supplies some lighter fluid for the Zippo and a tiny little corncob pipe for use at work. John, the store's namesake, gave me some advice on how to pack the pipe, how to light it, and what tobacco to try first (a blend called "Aspen"). A very nice guy, overall.

I tried out the larger of the two corncob pipes that night, out on my balcony. Being October, it was still warm enough outside to enjoy a smoke. Results were mixed, I'm afraid. I didn't get the total enjoyment I thought I would, but it wasn't a terrible experience, either. I think it was the tobacco, primarily. It wasn't quite the aromatic that I was looking for, but it would do for starters.

I started smoking the little corncob after lunch at work. It was somewhat funny, and I took a few jibes from my co-workers. Mike, the bloke who gave me the cigar on launch day (and who I ultimately blame for any cancers of the mouth or throat I might eventually develop), took to calling me nicknames, such as "Patton" (which is just his funny way of adulterating MacArthur -- ha ha ha) and "Popeye."

There doesn't seem to be a shortage of tobacco brands out there. I learned that they go from private, hand-blended tobaccos, to tinned, mass-produced tobaccos, and everything in-between. There are even "drug store" tobaccos that come in big bags, but I haven't read much about them that endears them to me (or other pipe smokers, for that matter).

While scanning posts on a forgotten forum, I came across the name of JM Boswell. The reviews of his pipes and tobacco blends were favorable, so I decided to look him up online. After reading over Boswell's list of blends, I called and ordered two that I thought would suit me: "Vanilla Creme" and "Spice and Nice." Dan, JM's son, took my order and added me to his system.

The tobacco arrived and I gave it a shot. It was much more of what I was looking for, compared to the locally-available "Aspen" that I'd picked up at John B. Hayes. That's not to say the Aspen was bad; I should probably dig it out and see if I'm still lukewarm to it now, especially since I've been smoking for a little over three months now.

The following week, Boswell's posted a number of their new hand-made pipes for sale. They do that on occasion, and the pickings are (very) reasonably priced, high quality, and they sell out quickly. The first pipe I wanted was already gone by the time I called, but my second choice -- a spiral-cut "nose-warmer" (at right) -- was still in stock. I ordered it along with a couple ounces of "Christmas Cookie" tobacco (recommended by Dan).

Now, around this time, Mythic was gearing up for the big launch party. I'd wanted a pipe to take along, given we'd all be drunk fools and I didn't want to miss out. Unfortunately, the new pipe I'd ordered from Boswell's wouldn't arrive until the next week, which meant I'd either have to take along the little corncob or do without.

My only other option for immediate gratification was to go to John B. Hayes in the mall and see what sort of pipes he had for sale. I didn't want to spend much, and the pipes in his shop are all pretty much standard retail. However, there's a little basket of lower-end pipes near the pricey ones, and I poked through it until I found a very small, very light "featherweight" pipe priced at $30. It's a small billiard style (similar to the one pictured here) produced by King's Cross, and it smokes like a dream. It's become my default workplace pipe, and the mini corncob has been mothballed.

Since I started puffing at work, I've had a number of folks look at me oddly. Understand that I'm in my middle thirties, but I work with a large group of younger twenty-somethings. However, it's gotten to the point where I don't get those looks anymore. I guess they've accepted the fact that this old guy smokes a pipe on their turf. In fact, I get complimented on it a lot of the time. Folks seem to like the smell of it. A couple of the non-smokers on my team will go out to the smoking area with me just to smell my pipe smoke, which is amusing to me.

I took the King's Cross billiard to the launch party along with some Vanilla Creme and it went over well. "You're smoking a pipe?" commented one co-worker's spouse. "How distinguished!" I guess you had to be there.

The pipe from Boswell's arrived the next week, and it's probably my favorite pipe of all so far. I own a total of seven pipes now (five from Boswell's and two featherweights for work and travel from King's Cross). I like them all, but that first "real" pipe from Boswell's has a special place in my heart. I'll have to get a picture of it up at some point.

Given that JM Boswell's is up in Chambersburg, PA, a mere 90 minute drive from Fairfax, I decided that it might be nice to take a road trip up there and see what the place had to offer first-hand. But that, too, is a story for another post!